The Greatest Sneeze

First the feathers flew in fluff
Till my nose had had enough
Blowing billows, filthy dust,
Rotten fibers, flaking rust,
Pollen from a dozen trees
All contribute to the sneeze
Grander blasts were never known
Nor a louder ever blown
Scared my granny up a tree
Caused the parking lot to flee
(Frightened looks on every face,
But I got my favorite space)
Shattered windows, woke the town
(The whole night shift lives around)
Till they called in the police
For disturbing of the peace
But they all had sneezes, too
So to them it's nothing new
"Everyone (now stand back please)
Has the legal right to sneeze."

The Dinner Prayer

The cook forgot to wash her hands
Old grease was in the frying pans
The milk is nearly three weeks old
And Uncle Bentley has a cold

Yet if I don't ingest a bit
They'll make an issue out of it
So hold my nose and here it goes,
The start of all my gastric woes:

Now I sit me down to eat
I pray the Lord near death to cheat
If I should die before I'm done
May someone dial 911!

A Bluebird's Battle

The window's in an awful state
Since Mr. Bluebird found a mate
For like the Don of windmill fame
He charges at the window pane.

He sees a rival, blue and bright
Within the glass-reflected light
And, launching into forward flight,
He challenges himself to fight.

Feathers ruffled, sore of beak
He sits atop the birdhouse peak
Alert as ever, keeping guard
Who drives reflections from his yard.

The Saw

Then I looked and I saw.
Then I saw and I looked.
I liked what I saw
What I saw when I looked
When I looked at the saw
Saw the saw at the scene
Saw the scene where I'd sawed
Sawed the tree where I'd seen
Seen the branch touch the trim
Touch the trim of my house.
And I sawed off the branch
Gave the branch a good trim
Got that branch off the trim
Off the trim of my house.
And I saw a good scene
Sawed the scene where I'd seen
And thus changing the scene
I saw, and I sawed.