Celebrity

I walked into the soda shop
And carried certain airs
To see if acting like a star
Would get me anywhere

I handed out some autographs
So graciously for free
Although the dazed recipients
Weren't sure they'd heard of me

I ordered up the very best
And didn't drink it all
Then argued with my agent
On a fake incoming call

And when I left the biggest tip
The place had ever seen
They whispered that if I came back
They'd treat me like a queen.